Everything Honorable and Glorious

It’s fucking Friday!! I’m going to Disneyland too!

The best present of all, Robbie is flying in!! Agh, this weekend is going to be amazing.

Today was my first day of class and I was so lost. For a brief moment, I thought, “did I really sign up for this?” But I’m learning to stay positive, so I quickly went back to having fun.

Holy shit, the room just shook, wtf?

I’m planning on studying the chapters we’ve learned and looking ahead at next week so I won’t be too lost. I also bought some lebanese music off itunes to fall asleep to. I’m listening to it now and I think I’m going to fall in love with how beautiful this language is and how interesting the culture is. I do need to study up on history and culture of the levant speakers this weekend.

I have a lot of ambition right now and I know that I am starting the most difficult journey of my life. I’m a dreamer and I believe that I will do amazing things with my time here.

Next weekend is Mars and Disneyland and I’m so fucking pumped. I’m going to wear my dress whites, there will be a sailor at the 30STM concert! Disney will be a nice vacation, I’m wondering if I could skip lines in uniform…but I’ll save that for exodus. I do plan to visit LA on the drive home, maybe visit a nice vegan restaurant and whimsic alley. I do want to quickly do standard LA things and see the Hollywood sign.

So, yeah, it’s kinda late and I am falling asleep.

I can wait to get the Jared Leto intense stare down.

I just have to wear my whites too, it’ll be so classy and make me stand out.

I feel really lonely tonight. When I got here, the group I was in all hung out together. Now, I’m pretty much a loner.

It all became much clearer to me when Robbie left. I start classes tomorrow, I’ll be in a new division and have the opportunity to make more friends.

But tonight, I really just don’t want to be alone. I want to have someone physically sit with me, but I know everyone else already has someone to hang out with.

I should just go talk to my mom and let all her questions distract me.

But it’s hard not to.

I want to write how I feel, but I know this gets read and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret. I just need some time to work out my thoughts before I speak.

Anyways, chains and whips excite me…S&M is playing. I need to finish my domme book, I think I can develop that personality.

I’m here getting a pedicure and brought Robbie along to get one too. He’s trying to make it seem like he doesn’t want one and he’s not enjoying it, but the look on his face says otherwise.

Anyways, Robbie has been out here the whole week and he leaves tomorrow. We went to Point Lobos, the Winchester Mystery House and Magic Mountain. We hunted down the best chips and guac in town and partied way too hard, too many nights. I love him and I’m going to miss him so much.

Tonight, if we make it in time, might watch the sunset. We caught it the other night while driving through Sand City, but didn’t stop to watch.

I can’t wait to see him again.

PS. He is growing a killer mustache.